Football Food.

Football Food.

DISCLAIMER:
First of all, before we continue any further, let me say this. The point of today’s blog post, is merely to entertain, to make my readers laugh and to possibly spark lively, yet fun debates. In no way whatsoever do I want to offend, or make anyone feel as if I am alienating them with terms such as “chick food” or a put down of a food they enjoy. This is simply for fun and entertainment, nothing more.

I completely admit that today's blog topic is probably just me grasping at straws for something to talk about. Either way, it is an important topic of discussion that needs to be addressed. Let me ask you this:

What is it that makes football Saturday or Sunday, truly the day it is supposed to be?
Of course, it would be a great, competitive game, but what is the one thing that must go hand in hand with a great game? The football food of course! Whether a game is good or lousy, you’ll have some perfect football snacks, to enjoy your victory with, or take out your anger on.

This will come as no surprise to you, but I am rather opinionated on this topic, (the Blind Quarterback? Opinionated? That’s a shock!) As I have stated before, this is because I grew up in a household where during the fall, “football food” - as my father called it - was just a main staple on the menu on Saturdays. I grew up around football food, not only that, but I have listened to my dad rant about what is and is not football food.

When I was a small child, all the way up to when I moved out, a fall Saturday was football day and our kitchen counter tops and stove tops were covered with chips, queso, little smokeys, crackers with sliced cheese and beef stick, sometimes bean dip or chili, all hand crafted by my mother.

What makes food worthy of being “football food”?

In my opinion, most of all great football food is also finger food, this is because you don’t want to have to exert to much concentration while devouring your football snack of choice, if you have to look down, your taking attention away from the game, therefore, it’s not a football snack.

I absolutely love steak. On most days, no food makes me happier than a perfectly cooked, juicy and succulent piece of steak with a loaded baked potato, however, I do not think a steak and baked potato constitutes as a football food. There is too much cutting and maneuvering of silverware.

So, unless my wife will just let me pick up my steak and baked potato and eat them like a caveman (which I may or may not have done at one point in my marriage), I’m afraid it’s delicious, but not football food. As I stated before, a good football food needs to be something you can cram into your mouth with great gusto - either at your leisure or at ramming speed, it’s up to you.

Highlights: Best Football Foods Over the Years:

Here is a list of just some, but certainly not all, of the great football snacks:

• Chips and Queso
o Salsa and bean dip are perfectly acceptable substitutions
• Buffalo wings
o or chicken wings of any flavor, bone in or boneless (I, myself prefer boneless)
• Loaded Nachos
o My boss suggests it include not just cheese, meat, beans, jalapeños, sour cream, guacamole and many other varieties
• Little Smokeys
o tiny hot dogs, smoked and usually covered in some kind of sauce
• Crackers with sliced cheese and beef stick
o it is best to have all three of these together and on the same platter or plate for easier access to all three at once
o Also you can even make little sandwiches with them
• Pizza
o a large or extra-large pizza recommended
o accompanied with bread or cheese bread sticks (or wings of course)
• Fried Chicken
o Not baked (too healthy) but greasy fried chicken
o preferably with ranch or some kind of dipping sauce
• Hot dogs and hamburgers
o Bratwurst are also acceptable (as are hot links)
• Guacamole
o this goes hand in hand with chips (and as my boss mentioned: nachos)
o Side note: My wife makes an incredible 7 layer Guacamole dip)
• Tacos and Burritos
o pretty much anything wrapped in a tortilla including but not limited to deli meats, cheeses, cream cheese, etc.
• Chili
o the exception to my “no use of silverware” rule
• Potato skins:
o must be “loaded” to truly and properly be enjoyed, otherwise, it’s just a hollowed out potato with no delicious football appeal
o Must contain (at least) cheese, bacon and sour cream
• Barbecue:
o This includes many different varieties including but not limited to, ribs, brisket, beef sandwiches, burnt ends, BBQ beans or even BBQ Lays potato
o all dishes must be absolutely drenched in BBQ sauce (except maybe the chips, or the chips to if you feel like it, it’s your “football food”)
• Brownies
o or other easy to eat desserts
o This includes but is not limited to: football-shaped brownies, football-shaped cupcakes (with your teams colors as icing), football-shaped cakes, and football-shaped cookies (“What do you know... they're little footballs” to quote from Ace Ventura: Pet Detective)

I am sure I have left many things out, and as always, feel free to respond and comment with your favorite football food or anything I left out.

Of course, you have to be able to wash all that “healthy” food down with something - I do not really have a list of good drinks for a football game – (because it’s pretty much soda or beer). Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love ice tea, but I think that is pushing it.
Football food must include football drinks:

I believe a football drink needs to be carbonated in order to lead to good, loud, healthy belching, but nothing stronger then beer if it’s going to be beer, may I recommend you select the beer that is brewed in your city to best represent your football team of choice.
For example, if you’re a Chiefs fan (such as myself) you would select the Kansas City brew known as Boulevard, it comes highly recommended by yours truly, The Blind Quarterback.

What food is NOT worthy of being “football food”:

Alright, here comes the list of foods that - I’m sorry - just don’t make the cut as a football food. Once again, I am not bashing these foods. I don’t really dislike any food and will pretty much eat anything, but just good food does not a football food make.

Quick funny story.

The first time I ever had a friend over to listen to football, my sweet loving wife was already thinking of a football menu (for those of you who haven’t figured it out yet, my wife is an amazing woman and I love her dearly). I happened to mention to my father that I was having a friend over to listen to football and that my bride was making up a football menu. He asked what she was making.
“Well, she talked about making up a veggie tray with some - ”
“NO!!!” my dad declared.
“You tell her that there is no vegetables during football and for her to save that ‘chick’ food for later.”
Later that day, my wife served my friend and me chips and queso, potato skins, deli tortilla role ups and Dr. Pepper. Anyway, on with the list of the “don’ts” in football food.

• Anything from Starbucks or Panera bread
• Veggie trays (I like a good veggie tray as much as the next guy, but not a football food)
• Chinese food (love Chinese as well, still not a football food)
• Pasta of any kind (way too complicated to be a football food)
• Soup (sorry, I love warm soup on a cold fall or winter day, but not football food)
• Lobster (really? What kind of football party are you having?)
• Fish: (pretty much any kind of fish or crustacean is not a football food. The exception to this rule is fried Croppy or Cat fish, but no Salmon, no crab legs, no shrimp, no calamari, no es cargot, nothing of that nature. It’s too fancy and not football food)
• Triangular-cut sandwiches (this is not a dad gum tea party! Sandwiiches are acceptable, but they must be in hoagie form, with plenty of meat. Triangular = unacceptable)
• Smoothies (uh… no)
• Wine (this is not a date. No wine)

Obviously there are loads more that do not constitute a football food, but that is just some of the ones I was able to come up with.

What does your game day meal look like?

Alright, now time for my favorite part. That is when you send me all your responses and opinions.

Please feel free to tell me whatever you want.

What is your favorite football “food”?
Have you seen something at a football party and thought - “what the heck is that doing here”
Just a story from your life about football food or what you like to have when you watch the game, so, whatever you want.

Can’t wait to see all responses.
See Ya!
The Blind Quarterback.