Let’s just get this out there first thing - last night’s
Super Bowl was an incredibly boring snore of a game.
Even the most ardent of football fans might have turned to
other forms of entertainment rather then watch last night’s snooze fest season
finale of a football game (which is exactly what my father did). I hung in
there, through every last second of a game that can only be compared to
watching paint dry or grass grow. While I do believe that a Chiefs versus
Saints or Chiefs versus Rams would have been better games, it has nothing to do
with my dashing Super Bowl 53 to pieces.
I’ve heard the arguments, that it was a defense heavy game,
that this was an example of old school football. I will say that for the most
part, I find that to be true. Both team’s had incredibly stingy defenses,
giving up very few yards. Both quarterbacks spent a portion of the night on the
ground (Rams QB Jared Goff being sacked 4 times). But it should not go
unnoticed that neither offense got much going either.
The Patriots came in boasting the “GOAT” QB in Tom Brady and
his cast of characters like Julian Edelman, Rob “The Gronk” Gronkowski and running
backs Rex Burkhead and Sony Michel. The Rams came in with one of the most explosive
offenses in the league all season, unmatched by any except for the Saints (and…well…
the Kansas City Chiefs). This offense gave us the deadly accurate Jared Goff as
QB, Brandon Cooks as wide receiver and league MVP candidate Todd Gurly at
running back.
While I agree this was a defensive struggle, there is no
reason why those two explosive offenses should only manage to put forth a measly
13-3 final score, which has gone down in history as the lowest scoring Super
Bowl of all time.
Let’s examine these numbers. Shall we?
1.38 billion chicken wings were expected to be devoured
during Super Bowl weekend.
12.5 million pizzas were expected to be consumed during the
big day.
For me, I gorged myself on my wife’s chicken quesadillas,
queso and guacamole.
Now let’s look at the game itself.
By the end of the first half, the score did not even include
a touchdown and was a staggering 3 to nothing Pats. In this past season, the
Chiefs played 36 halves of football and scored at least 16 or more points 23
times. In the first half, Rams punter Johnny Hecker had more “touches” (6) than
running back Todd Gurly and wide receiver Brandon Cooks combined (5). The Rams
ran no plays in the red zone all night and the Pats ran 1. The least amount of
red zone plays ran in a Super Bowl by both teams combined was 5.
Perhaps the most troubling stat for Rams fans to swallow is
that 45% of Rams plays went for 0 yards or worse - negative yardage. This means
that almost half the plays the Rams ran, were stopped dead in their tracks at
best or forced backwards losing yards at worst. Just to rub some salt in that
wound, the Rams are only the second team in Super Bowl history to not score a
touchdown. That dubious honor belongs to the 1971 Dolphins in Super Bowl 6.
Jared Goff completed only 19 of 38 passes. 10 of those
coming in the fourth with a too little too late comeback attempt. He threw for 229 yards with no touchdowns, a
key fourth quarter interception and got sacked 4 times.
Let’s be honest Pats fans, the GOAT Tom Brady didn’t look
much better, clocking in at 21-35 completions for 262 yards, 1 touchdown and 1
interception. Luckily for Tom Brady, running back Sony Michel had 90 yards
rushing. Julian Edelman had 141 receiving yards and won himself Super Bowl 53
MVP in the process.
After the game, I reluctantly rose to my feet, crossed the
space in my man cave, and flipped my football sign that hangs on the wall from
“GAME TIME” to “PRE-GAME” – how it will stay until August.
Don’t fret. Your BQB
will be popping up periodically to discuss some basketball and of course Royals
baseball and other sports-related discussions and debates.
Your BQB ain’t going anywhere!
